sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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