Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
