I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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