i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
