If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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