where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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