I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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