adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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