Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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