her vagine was all disorganized.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize