This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Found the puke drawer
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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