Got a toothbrush?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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