So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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