So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
