i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i out mim tonsoeep
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
