And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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