I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
