I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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