all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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