the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
