He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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