I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
