I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Help. Why am I so naked?
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