if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
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Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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