It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
