Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
