So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
