I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
