the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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