I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I didn't notice because vodka
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
