just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
