i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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