So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
