I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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