Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I understand Curling. That high.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I see more hoeing in ur future
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