sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
