Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
