I'm drive I can fine osifer
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
