:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
