I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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