I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
should my penis look like a turkey
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I didn't notice because vodka
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
