Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
