ugly people sure do ruin things
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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