Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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