you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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