well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
