so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
