Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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