walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he puts the penis in happiness.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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