So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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