If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
