Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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