at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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