Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
