Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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