I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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