i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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